Dear Carol,
My daughter has the hairiest legs and arms and she is starting to become self conscious about it. What would you do? I don't think I could hand her a razor at this age, but I don't want other kids to make fun of her. Besides, the problem isn't just her legs, it's her arms too. Maybe bleaching it?
- Hairy in Houston
Dear Hairy,
You are right. Shaving her arms would just make it come back even hairier the next time. Talk to her doctor about bleaching.
Bleaching may be too white, so coloring may be a other option.
Sincerely,
Carol
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Waiting for Pierced Ears
Dear Carol,
My 8 year old keeps pressuring us to let her get her ears pierced. We have told her in the past not until she is 12, but maybe that is making her wait too long. Can you help?
Thank You
Piercing in Paris
Dear Piercing in Paris,
Tell your daughter that you have already answered her question and it is unexceptionable to keep nagging. Fake her out by telling her that if she keeps asking you will raise the age. (But don't!) As a 12th birthday present let her get her ears pierced!
Sincerely,
Carol
My 8 year old keeps pressuring us to let her get her ears pierced. We have told her in the past not until she is 12, but maybe that is making her wait too long. Can you help?
Thank You
Piercing in Paris
Dear Piercing in Paris,
Tell your daughter that you have already answered her question and it is unexceptionable to keep nagging. Fake her out by telling her that if she keeps asking you will raise the age. (But don't!) As a 12th birthday present let her get her ears pierced!
Sincerely,
Carol
Messy Shmessy
Deal Carol,
I have a teenage daughter who is just so messy. Her room is never clean and no matter what approach I take she never keeps her room clean. I try to keep my home clean so I'm trying to be a good example, but her room is a mess. Grounding her just doesn't help...
I need help. Thank you
-Dirty in Detroit
Dear Dirty in Detroit,
Let her know that if she doesn't clean her room that privileges will be taken away. Take away minor things like candy and cake. Then if it worsens take away TV and computer or cell phone. And if that doesn't work then use the tactic my parents use: empty her closet of all clothes. Leave her with enough clothes for a week and PJ's. Don't just empty her closets also do her desk and nightstand. Just leave clothes. As she starts to do better then gradually give back her things.
Sincerely,
Carol
I have a teenage daughter who is just so messy. Her room is never clean and no matter what approach I take she never keeps her room clean. I try to keep my home clean so I'm trying to be a good example, but her room is a mess. Grounding her just doesn't help...
I need help. Thank you
-Dirty in Detroit
Dear Dirty in Detroit,
Let her know that if she doesn't clean her room that privileges will be taken away. Take away minor things like candy and cake. Then if it worsens take away TV and computer or cell phone. And if that doesn't work then use the tactic my parents use: empty her closet of all clothes. Leave her with enough clothes for a week and PJ's. Don't just empty her closets also do her desk and nightstand. Just leave clothes. As she starts to do better then gradually give back her things.
Sincerely,
Carol
School Struggles
Dear Carol,
I have son who is struggling in school with a friend. Jimmy wants to be friends with this person, but the friendship is really one sided. His friend abuses him and treats him terribly. Sometimes Jimmy cries over the situation. I hurt inside for him. How can I help him deal with this situation.
-Sad in San Diego
Dear Sad Diego,
Your son Jimmy needs to let a school guidance counselor know. The counselor will talk to Jimmy and then contact the friend and his friends parents. Most likely Jimmy's friend's parents don't know. If Jimmy does not want to talk to the guidance counselor then call him/her and tell them about Jimmy's troubles. They will find Jimmy and talk to him.
Sincerely,
Carol
I have son who is struggling in school with a friend. Jimmy wants to be friends with this person, but the friendship is really one sided. His friend abuses him and treats him terribly. Sometimes Jimmy cries over the situation. I hurt inside for him. How can I help him deal with this situation.
-Sad in San Diego
Dear Sad Diego,
Your son Jimmy needs to let a school guidance counselor know. The counselor will talk to Jimmy and then contact the friend and his friends parents. Most likely Jimmy's friend's parents don't know. If Jimmy does not want to talk to the guidance counselor then call him/her and tell them about Jimmy's troubles. They will find Jimmy and talk to him.
Sincerely,
Carol
White Lies
Dear Carol,
I have a 7 yr old son who is always lying to us. He never seems to want to tell the truth. We punish him and punish him and the behavior never gets any better. What can I do to help make him tell the truth?
Fibbing in Florida
Dear Fibbing,
Repeatedly punishing him won't always work. If you punish him the same way each time then he will get used to being punished that way. Try punishing him in a different way than normal. Or try an incentive like adding a quarter to a jar each time he doesn't lie. Then after he has enough money let him buy candy or something that he picks out. Also try positive rewards for not lying. When he does not lie give him a treat or reward. When he does lie just ignore what he said and treat him no differently.
Sincerely,
Carol
I have a 7 yr old son who is always lying to us. He never seems to want to tell the truth. We punish him and punish him and the behavior never gets any better. What can I do to help make him tell the truth?
Fibbing in Florida
Dear Fibbing,
Repeatedly punishing him won't always work. If you punish him the same way each time then he will get used to being punished that way. Try punishing him in a different way than normal. Or try an incentive like adding a quarter to a jar each time he doesn't lie. Then after he has enough money let him buy candy or something that he picks out. Also try positive rewards for not lying. When he does not lie give him a treat or reward. When he does lie just ignore what he said and treat him no differently.
Sincerely,
Carol
Friday, August 1, 2008
College Dating Issues
I have a daughter who is a sophomore at college. She says she has met the man of her dreams, but we have met him and think she can do so much better. How do I share this with my daughter and not put a wedge in the relationship. I love her so much and want only the best for her.
- College Sweetheart
Dear College Sweetheart,
Ask your daughter what she sees in him. Maybe he is really a nice guy but you just can't see what she sees.
Why don't you bond with him. Play nine holes of golf or maybe just talk. Once you get to to know him then judge him. After this if he is still odd after this then talk to your daughter. Tell her that you love him but don't think that he is right. Break it to her gently and if you hurt her feelings then give her time to cool off, and wait to talk to her again.
Sincerely,
Carol
Image Adam on Flickr
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